We all want our children to grow up to be the best they can possibly be. As parents, we nurture, protect, and guide them and prepare them to be independent, productive, caring citizens.

At Family Enrichment Associates we start seeing children in middle childhood, around the age of 5 or 6. During this developmental stage they are dressing themselves and getting ready to start school. At school they will develop friendships and more importantly confidence, through their interactions with their new friends, successful completion of their schoolwork, and participation in sports, dance, etc. As they start to gain more independence from their parents and family they begin to understand more about ‘their place’ in this world; pay more attention to friendships; want to be liked and accepted by their friends; start to learn ways to express their thoughts and feelings; and, become less focused on self and more concerned about others.

The Center for Disease Control (CDC) recommends the following Parenting Tips during the middle childhood years, 6-8 years old:

•Show affection for your child. Recognize her accomplishments.

•Help your child develop a sense of responsibility—ask him to help with household tasks, such as setting the table.

•Talk with your child about school, friends, and things she looks forward to in the future.

•Talk with your child about respecting others. Encourage him to help people in need.

•Help your child set her own achievable goals—she’ll learn to take pride in herself and rely less on approval or reward from others.

•Help your child learn patience by letting others go first or by finishing a task before going out to play. Encourage him to think about possible consequences before acting.

•Make clear rules and stick to them, such as how long your child can watch TV or when she has to go to bed. Be clear about what behavior is okay and what is not okay.

•Do fun things together as a family, such as playing games, reading, and going to events in your community.

•Get involved with your child’s school. Meet the teachers and staff and get to understand their learning goals and how you and the school can work together to help your child do well.

•Continue reading to your child. As your child learns to read, take turns reading to each other.

•Use discipline to guide and protect your child, rather than punishment to make him feel bad about himself. Follow up any discussion about what not to do with a discussion of what to do instead.

•Praise your child for good behavior. It’s best to focus praise more on what your child does (“you worked hard to figure this out”) than on traits she can’t change (“you are smart”).

•Support your child in taking on new challenges. Encourage her to solve problems, such as a disagreement with another child, on her own.

•Encourage your child to join school and community groups, such as a team sports, or to take advantage of volunteer opportunities.

Healthy Bodies

•Parents can help make schools healthier. Work with your child’s school to limit access to foods and drinks with added sugar, solid fat, and salt that can be purchased outside the school lunch program.

•Make sure your child has 1 hour or more of physical activity each day.

•Keep television sets out of your child’s bedroom. Set limits for screen time for your child at home, school, or afterschool care and develop a media use plan for your family.

•Practice healthy eating habits and physical activity early. Encourage active play and be a role model by eating healthy at family mealtimes and having an active lifestyle.

•Make sure your child gets the recommended amount of sleep each night: For school-age children 6-12 years, 9–12 hours per 24 hours (including naps).

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Then, while still in middle childhood, but in the 9-11 age range, they become even more independent from family and more interested in friends. Healthy friendships are important during this stage of their development, but peer pressure can be strong during these years. Children who feel good about themselves are more able to resist negative peer pressure and make better choices for themselves. Along with their independence, they should also be gaining a sense of responsibility (e.g. chores, meal prep). We will start to see the physical changes of puberty, especially for girls. We will need to help them prepare to go to middle school. Because of puberty they will be more aware of their bodies. We’ll need to look and listen for any issues with body image or eating problems. School will become increasingly more difficult; therefore, they may start to experience more academic challenges.

The Center for Disease Control (CDC) recommends the following Parenting Tips during the middle childhood years, 9 -11 years old:

•Spend time with your child. Talk with her about her friends, her accomplishments, and what challenges she will face.

•Be involved with your child’s school. Go to school events; meet your child’s teachers.

•Encourage your child to join school and community groups, such as a sports team, or to be a volunteer for a charity.

•Help your child develop his own sense of right and wrong. Talk with him about risky things friends might pressure him to do, like smoking or dangerous physical dares.

•Help your child develop a sense of responsibility—involve your child in household tasks like cleaning and cooking. Talk with your child about saving and spending money wisely.

•Meet the families of your child’s friends.

•Talk with your child about respecting others. Encourage her to help people in need. Talk with her about what to do when others are not kind or are disrespectful.

•Help your child set his own goals. Encourage him to think about skills and abilities he would like to have and about how to develop them.

•Make clear rules and stick to them. Talk with your child about what you expect from her (behavior) when no adults are present. If you provide reasons for rules, it will help her to know what to do in most situations.

•Use discipline to guide and protect your child, instead of punishment to make him feel badly about himself.

•When using praise, help your child think about her own accomplishments. Saying “you must be proud of yourself” rather than simply “I’m proud of you” can encourage your child to make good choices when nobody is around to praise her.

•Talk with your child about the normal physical and emotional changes of puberty.

•Encourage your child to read every day. Talk with him about his homework.

•Be affectionate and honest with your child and do things together as a family.